By Tony Snow, Minister of TruthThat is so not a death ray. That is complete hooey. Look at it. Does it look like a death ray to you?
No it doesn’t, stop saying that. And stop pointing at it and screaming. It’s a sculpture. Who sculpted it? Um… some French guy. It’s a gift from France. What’s that you say?
Why does a sculpture need a plug? Uh… oh damn. Um, okay, it’s actually like our antennae for our television. It’s how we watch TV here. What? We’re not landlocked. We’re just floating out here. We’ve got to have a big satellite.
What? Why doesn’t it look like a dish, but instead, like a gigantic death ray? Well… it’s new. We got it from the Sharper Image. You get a catalogue, right? Everybody gets one. Just look in there.
What page? Um… you know, we ordered it a few months ago. So it’s probably not in this one. It was probably a limited deal.
Seriously, that is not a death ray.
Tony Snow kind of looks like the kid from "A Christmas Story."
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